How To Embarrass Two People For The Price Of One
Posted on Aug 22, 2008 in Blog
Yesterday I did a retarded entry on Videogamey. It was a homage to the site I did back in the 90s called Star Wars Farts. Yeah, that’s right. You can see the content of StarWarsFarts.com (not including the cease and desist letter from Lucasfilm) on Flickr.
Anyways.
Someone on Videogamey suggested I start VideogameFarts.com since apparently even at 36 I can’t seem to shed my 12-year old sense of comedy. I laughed it off at the time but this morning when a 2-for-1 domain registration offer landed in my inbox I thought why not? Even if I never do it I’m not really throwing a lot of money out the window. So I took advantage and registered four domains that will one day be part of the global fart website empire:
- videogamefarts.com
- tvfarts.com
- filmfarts.com
- historicfarts.com
Are you as excited for historic farts as I am? Oh I know you are!
So I placed the order but I didn’t get the discount. Those crumb bums! I had to call on the phone to sort it out with the registrar’s customer support people on the sub-continent.
CS Rep: Hello thank you for calling Network Solutions customer service my name is hard to understand on first listen how may I help you?
Me: Hi, I placed an order with a buy one, get one free code but it didn’t give me that juicy discount I crave like so much crack cocaine.
CS Rep: I am sorry your order did not work out! May I please have your domain?
Me: Ummm. Can I give you my order number or account number?
CS Rep: No sir, sorry sir. I need your domain please.
Me: Errrr. Uh… Videogame Farts dot com.
CS Rep: Video Tarts dot com.
Me: Uh. No. Videogame Farts dot com.
CS Rep: Videogame. Farts? dot com? Farts?
Me: Um. Yeah.
CS Rep: Okay sir! Let me just look that up!
Me: Ok.
CS Rep: Okay sir I have located your order and I need to verify some details withyou. Will that be okay?
Me: Yes.
CS Rep: Thank you sir. So your domain is VideogameFarts.com?
Me: Right.
CS Rep: And also TBFarts.com?
Me: Uh. TV. Not B. V as in victor.
CS Rep: Sorry sir. TVFarts.com
Me: Right, as in television…. television farts… dot com.
CS Rep: You also registered FilmFarts.com. Is that correct?
Me: Errr, yes.
CS Rep: And HistoricFarts.com?
Me: …yeah.
CS Rep: So you ordered VideogameFARTS.com, TVFARTS.com, FilmFARTS.com and HistoricFARTS.com, is that correct sir.
Me: Uh, yes.
CS Rep: Thank you sir and I will now forward you to other representative who will process your refund. Thank you for your order and I hope you will enjoy your domains!
Me: Ok. Thank you.
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Like you’re embarrassed. I bet you made everyone in the Starbucks shut up and put the call on speakerphone to hear how awesome you are.
Well I’m not embarrassed while in my own circle but having this being a first contact event is kinda awkward.
You probably made that guy’s day.
I cannot wait for the first Ghandhi fart.
HA HA HA! However, it is a grievous loss that you are not showcasing Star Trek Farts. Kirk can toot and pfffft and fpppt and poot and beep with the best of them. And I don’t have to tell you what kind of gasses are produced in the Klingon intestine from gagh and heart of targ. And don’t even get me started with the Kazons, the stinkiest race in the delta quadrant….
Oh, the humanity.
Btw, for the historical farts, King George III not only had blue pee, but he also was an infamous farter. Here is a portrait of him engaged in a one-cheek sneak: http://www.paulauger.com/images/George3Lg.gif
I don’t wanna give away too much about what I heard in a meeting at work today, but if you were to also register GayPornFarts.com you might actually be able to unload it for some serious coin in the next few months or so. I kid you not.
I’m just not prepared to do the research on that one.
I had been giggling about this post for days, because…30% of the messages exchanged by the family are about such things (or camera phone pictures of poo).
Anyhow, I think you’d appreciate:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qhmahD_EbHY
See 1:45-2:30.
Where are the beginnings of this global fart website empire, hmmmm?
We are all waiting for the Gandhi fart.