I have some advice for anyone who has been sick and feverish for three days. Stay warm, push fluids and don’t trim your beard. Seriously.
About 20 minutes ago after being up all night (after sleeping 16 hours and getting up at 4:30pm) I got it into my head that I should trim my goatee even though the rest of my face was a 5-day growth mess. I don’t know why I thought I needed to do that but I it seemed like the right thing to do at the time.
So I picked up the trimmer and checked the guard was set at number 4 where it usually is. It was. So then I casually removed said guard and started to trim at my chin. I thought to myself that the trimming this time around is much more tactile than usual. Oh that’s right I took off the guard. Why’d I do that? Why am I trying to trim my beard in a fever, with a heat rash after 16 hours of being awake with my sleep schedule massively f’ed up?
Why?
Now I have a goatee with a big huge chunk out of the chin. So I let loose an epically heavy sigh and trimmed everything back to a mustache and soul patch. I think I look like an agreeable version of Seth Bullock. The kind of Seth Bullock who calls you out to the throughfare but for tea and biscuits.
Do I keep this? Do I remove it and start from scratch again? I don’t mind it — I kinda like it — but I don’t have a lot of personal grooming fashion sense.
{ 13 comments… read them below or add one }
I really like it! I’m worried that you’re so skinny, though. Try to eat more cubes of cheese if you can.
I agree. Quite dapper. You may need to work more “cocksucker” into your vocabulary to fit in around The Gem though. Work on that.
I actually just ate the last block of cheese about an hour ago.
Sorry what I meant to say was:
I actually just ate the last block of cheese about an hour ago… all those who disagree suck cock by choice.
I don’t know, Soul Patches always look like face pubes to me.
Wow, soul patch!
I’m gonna call you… “Soul Patch!”
I vote on keeping the mustache and getting rid of the soul patch.
As a son of a police officer I’m very aware that the soul patch keeps me from looking like a cop.
“As a son of a police officer I’m very aware that the soul patch keeps me from looking like a cop.”
Or a porn star.
Keep the soul patch. It works for you.
I also have some advice for anyone who has been sick and feverish for three days: This is the best time to quit smoking. It worked for me, so it might work for other cocksuckers.
I’m usually opposed to sould patches, particularly on white guys. But I think the darkness and assertiveness of yours, thereby making it unmistakably not a shaving accident (although, it is one), makes it look good on you.
However, I do hope the avatar will not change. I love your avatar so much I wish I had one that looked a coolly like me, only thinner (mine thinner).
Heh thanks. Are you talking about the Wii “Mii”? If so it won’t change because I haven’t turned on my Wii in months and probably won’t for the foreseeable future unless Nintendo decides to make real videogames again.
Hey, don’t dis the Wii. I’ve just discovered my God-given talent at Wii boxing. Good thing I know a seven-year-old who owns one.