I swear to you I’m a vegetarian. I’ve been a vegetarian for about 12 years or so. That said I have another bacon-related entry for you. I will admit that bacon is still the one meaty smell that gets to me. There’s no substitute for bacon. Veggie bacon is flat and hard like a pane of glass — if you remember the breakfast scene from Syriana it is exactly like that. It succeeds only in reminding you how awesome the real thing you are not eating is.
Omar comments on all the bacon talk:
For a vegetarian you sure have become obsessed with bacon lately. It’s unseemly. It’s like being an environmentalist who suddenly wants to hoard coal in the basement and watch it burn.
Anyways, I was looking for Bacon Salt on Amazon per a very helpful suggestion in the comment (unfortunately Amazon doesn’t sell the original flavour) and came across this product picture for the Colossal Bacon Sampler. Look at that thing! It’s 420×420 pixels of pure Americana. I’m not sure what makes America great but I suspect it might be the Colossal Bacon Sampler.
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If that’s a sampler, then a serving must be an entire, living pig.
David Greggory, a restaurant in DC, serves an all-bacon dinner on the third Monday of every month. The chef uses bacon in the hors d’oeuvres and each of the four courses, including dessert. It’s supposed to be amazing (if you like bacon), AND they send you home with a pound of artisanal bacon.
I sucked up the horrendous shipping costs on BaconSalt.com. It’s been hard to think of anything else since I read about it here.
The Sweet Potato Queens are also enamored of the bacon salt.
I’ve been a vegetarian for half my life now, and bacon never really did it for me. I can’t even stomach the smell of Baco-Bits. But much to my shame, and I mean a sort of deep burning shame that haunts both the conscience and the very concept of taste, I craved KFC’s gravy and mashed potatoes. It even haunted my carnivorous husband, who will allow no vegetable to pass his lips but canned green beans. I’m unable to parse the idea of the gravy on actual mashed potatoes (I can only conceive of the stuff served on their paste-based mashed “potatoes”) because that would be wrong… somehow. This is shaping up to be the first year I have gone without giving into my embarrassing once-a-year craving. I can’t decide if that’s going to make me a better vegetarian or a better eater of actual food. Given my continued love of other fake foods (Cool Whip, Tofurkey, Yves’ Cheddar Cheese slices, soda cracker toffee) I suspect it may be neither, sadly.
Mmm… soda cracker toffee is like crack. Don’t give that up whatever you do!
Katie, if it’s any comfort to you, that gravy has never seen anything close to an animal — unless it’s the dinosaur from which its petroleum base is derived.
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